he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
