The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
