I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
