Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
