I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
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Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
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Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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