youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
we should paint friendship bongs
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