Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize
