I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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