Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize