i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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