Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
