I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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