I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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