Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
