So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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