I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
