found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
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I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
50% drunk capacity currently
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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