1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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