My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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