i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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