I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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