You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
