i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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