Where is the hickey?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
