Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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