he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
