Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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