the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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