id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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