D3 body, D1 cock
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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