new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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