Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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