There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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