My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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