So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
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You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
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I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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