Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
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