Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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