So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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