But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
