Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
