If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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