Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
