Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.