I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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