tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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