If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
