Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
vagina is talking i cant
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize