mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
