Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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