I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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