you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
