My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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