windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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