check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
