tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
