No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
