I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
