am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
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