Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it penis luge time yet?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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