I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize