i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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