As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
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I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
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I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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