Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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