Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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