took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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