At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
