Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
