I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
