I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
