I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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