Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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