So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
